When I meet clients for the first time, I often say there's very little I can do to change their personal history. That comes in the door with all of us, whatever form it takes.

But I also tell them that a history is also a story - one that we certainly can tell, and present, in a way that the everyone in the divorce process can comprehend, understand, and even, believe it or not, respond to with some respect.

Everyone feels a loss of control in the process - after all, a person with whom you've been very close, and often spent most of your adult life, has turned uncooperative, sometimes even hostile. People sometimes come with a complete sense of powerlessness. I make it a point to address all of that, from the very start.

Through the divorce process I am a strong believer in everyone maintaining some personal balance, and particularly not letting the emotions of others cloud judgment or make matters worse. I believe if you are making a decision from a place of imbalance, most likely you won't be making a sound decision.

I manage expectations by being as honest as possible, even brutally honest if necessary. "Feel Good" assessments really have no place in a lawyers' office - of course, unless "Feel Good" is truly accurate. At all times we must be very direct with our feedback.

When I first began taking divorce cases I was struck by the similarities with my previous work as a real estate and transactional lawyer. For starters, it is people who always drive outcomes, rather than the law, or whatever assets may be involved. People - their personalities, their desires, their fears - all play the central role in how any case will play out. That's one of the reasons that a good fit between lawyer and client is so important.

I joined Arnie Rutkin and Sally Oldham to create and be a part of what I believe is truly one of the great divorce-law firms in Connecticut, and in the nation. All the knowledge, judgment and experience of every professional of our firm is brought to bear on every single case that the firm handles - and that is simply not how many firms operate. The bottom line is that Rutkin Oldham & Griffin has all the expertise needed for any case in a divorce setting. There is great - and really unparalleled - accumulated experience here.

I picked up fly fishing in my 40's, and ever since, I've reflected on how slow and quiet routines can heal and center us. Believe me, it's not about the fish: You are out there to examine those things that are important about yourself and your life.

I've always encouraged my friends, family and clients to pursue quiet and reflective activities, and appreciate the little unexpected dividends they pay. Because, afterwards, you often look back at the things that have happened in your life - and realize they were true blessings.