I must confess I never intended to be a family lawyer. Or even a lawyer for that matter. But I’ve loved every minute of it. There’s an aspect to it that’s appealed to all the professionals I wanted to be: The businessman, the doctor. All of us in family in a way are amateur therapists and psychiatrists.

As I tell every young lawyer today, if you don’t like working with people, especially those with serious problems, you are in the wrong profession. You have to love helping people. Getting them through the legal tunnel, the emotional tunnel, is very, very satisfying for me.

I think it’s important to understand that “out-lawyering” another lawyer is not necessarily a good idea. I remember a case in which I represented a wife, and I really out-maneuvered the other side. The husband came in and signed the agreement. I thought I was very clever. I overreached. A week later he called us from Mexico and said, “Now we negotiate.” The terms were so onerous, we had to re-negotiate a sensible deal.

It’s always, always better to work toward an agreement that’s fair and will work – and last. Otherwise there’ll just be constant post-divorce fighting.

People don’t care where you went to school, especially at my age. They just want a good lawyer, who can provide creative solutions. That’s the way we’ve always approached it. We are very careful who we hire, because good lawyers have to work in harmony with each other. I want people who can’t wait to come to work in the morning. No one around here says, “Not my job.” I believe in the importance of the quality of life during the business day.

I still love the challenging case – the more complex, the better. But I pass these days on those disputed custody cases. I leave them now to the younger lawyers. In fact, I don’t even use the words “custody” and “visitation” anymore – they have too much baggage attached to them. Now it’s simply a “parenting plan.”

I’m satisfied with the way the system works now. But it took a long time. The legislative process isn’t impossible. Just be up front with the various people in a legislature. They want to do the right thing. Don’t blindside them, and they’ll help you.

Nowadays I personally don’t see too many bad lawyers on the other side. We don’t kid each other. We don’t waste a lot of time. But it’s not always like that. Younger lawyers are willing to be contentious, in ways I never was. The bar is not as friendly or as collegial a place as it once was. Lawyers don’t treat each other as well as they used to.

But I’ve been very lucky. If I had one town to practice divorce law in, it would have to be Greenwich, Connecticut. I wouldn’t be doing anything else – anywhere else.