Most of what we do, perhaps ninety percent, is really about getting to know people, getting to know them well, so that we can manage their case and properly resolve it. Many times, clients feel anger, betrayal, and resentment. A client may still love their spouse. They have been put in a position of loving someone who does not love them and has even betrayed them. It can take six months or more for the initial emotions to subside. Often the mindsets between spouses harden over time and issues of custody of children become the focus of bitter exchanges. I try and remind people of the story of the skinned knee - Dad may want his six year old to play and learn from a skinned knee while Mom may not want the child to skin his knee at all. The point is that both parents want the same thing for their child. They just want it in different ways. Reaching the same conclusion from different approaches is a lot of what matrimonial law is about.

People are in many respects better informed about divorce and the process. The Internet allows people to read about cases in a way they never could before. And, divorce is not as stigmatizing as it once was. But, it can still be thrust upon people unexpectedly. When I first meet a client, I explain the aspects of the law, how a judge will look at the facts of their case, and how the law will most likely be interpreted. In the initial conversation with the client, I want to know as much as I can about the client. I am honest with them about how the process works, how divorce is going to change many aspects of their lives, and how it is up to them about how long they want the divorce process to continue. Most cases are settled as they should be. If they do not settle, it is usually because of some unique legal issues or because someone is so upset they just cannot bring closure to the matter and settle. Cases involving smaller amounts of assets can and should go to mediation and we work to ensure that they do so.

We are conscientious about every case whether large or small but ultimately it is about people and their families. We never lose sight of that.