Although every case is prepped for potential litigation, the best outcome for any matrimonial litigant is one that does not require a judge to make the ultimate decisions affecting the lives of an immediate family. Reasonable adults, although emotionally charged going through a divorce, should be able to resolve their differences and control their own destiny with the aid of experienced and competent matrimonial counsel.

From the outset the key is to make sure a litigant has 'reasonable expectations' of what the anticipated outcome of his/her case will most likely be, given the attorney's understanding of the facts and law relevant to the client's particular case. Matrimonial counsel must take the time to carefully analyze a case, as each case is factually unique, and explain the client's rights and obligations. Counsel should encourage clients to ask as many questions as possible; no question is "stupid."

Clients always appreciate an honest and candid cost-benefit analysis throughout the life of a case, rather than an approach that involves litigation for the sake of litigation. A client's respect for counsel, leads to respect for our Judges and our legal system in general. It is imperative to dissuade a client from harboring misconceptions about matrimonial law, misconceptions they happened to pick up from either a friend who went through a divorce, bartender, television show, etc. Clients tend to latch on to their own brand of research of matrimonial law as gospel. A well-informed client can assist counsel greatly in every stage of a case, as well as help keep his/her fees and costs down while going through the process. Unless a client is well informed, he/she is not in a position to make a sound decision regarding their case.

Financial issues aside, I strongly believe it is counsel's responsibility to make certain that parties avoid victimizing their children while they go through a divorce. Parents with the best of intentions, unwittingly sometimes feel the need to hurt their spouse by using their child. It must be stressed that every child has the right not to be treated as a pawn or piece of property.

Our Courts are flooded with unnecessary litigation. A reasonable and practical matrimonial attorney should always attempt to avoid making motions and litigating by reaching out to an adversary before seeking the court's intervention. Sometimes, a resolution can be reached without court intervention. When that happens, the client benefits from a financial standpoint, because litigation is extremely costly. And from an emotional standpoint, there's no need to unleash a host of unpleasantries in affidavits from both sides.

If a resolution cannot be reached, litigation is the only alternative -- but the court should be made aware that every effort was made to reach a settlement. Most judges are accommodating and will find the time to meet with counsel and explore resolutions, short of setting a case down for trial. Most cases settle prior to or during trial. Matrimonial counsel should attempt to minimize the conflict, stress and expense of their clients at all times.

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