Just in his mid 40s, Ross Abelow is one of New York City’s most accomplished -- and distinctive – young independent divorce lawyers. Scrappy, practical, industrious, and very much his own man, the Briarwood, Queens, native is by all accounts an authentic New Yorker -- he comes as close to Runyonesque as the top tier of the Manhattan divorce bar will likely ever see.

Though he has a broad client base, his connections to the rough-and-tumble Manhattan restaurant industry run deep – over the years he’s represented owners and chefs of big-name establishments; after their marital splits he’s handled their business divorces as well. He has business interests in SoHo, and with relationships seemingly everywhere, “I’m unofficial general counsel to half of New York City,” he says with only slight overstatement.

Further, with three young daughters and living on the Upper East Side, he eschews – or, more accurately, sticks it in the eye of – Manhattan’s famously workaholic professional culture (“Family counts – I don’t understand people who slave at the office until 9 every night”). Peers seem to admire that Abelow, who rents office space from a major firm across the street from Grand Central, practices on his terms. For 15 years, he’s practiced with his law school roommate, transactional lawyer Robert Cassandro, but their practices – Abelow’s in Manhattan and Cassandro’s in Nassau County – are fairly distinct.

Growing up (his father was an early computer programmer for IBM), Abelow attended Stuyvesant High School, where standardized test results steered him to the law (“I was barely getting by in chemistry”). After a year at Queens College, he attended SUNY-Albany, where he majored in political science and English, and was a leader in the student association. His youth was full of job stints, from delis to engineering firms. But he went straight to law school, harboring notions of “international law – issues between countries, whatever that meant.”

More focused and degree in hand, Abelow was recruited by Kaye Scholer, the large Manhattan firm with a major litigation practice. There, between trial prep for major corporate clients, Abelow did pro bono work with partner Denise Cote (today a federal judge) for the Sanctuary for Battered Women’s legal services, which introduced Abelow, still in his 20s, to family law.

Abelow’s success today is marked by two key traits – he has great instincts for judges, the courts and the courtroom process, and he is an effective virtual-office practitioner, often in court, who responds regularly to clients via a Blackberry “that’s never off.” (“Any lawyer who sits behind a desk all day is out of touch. I’m in constant contact with my clients wherever I am.”) These days he’s called regularly to join other firms, but Abelow seems to prize his independence. Clients will find Abelow energetic, attentive, unsparing in his candor, and a well-managed ego (“I don’t need to be the big shot in the room”).

Away from the office he runs regularly through Central Park (he only recently retired from the Kay Scholer softball team), and coaches his daughters’ sports teams. His wife Susan is a respected corporate branding consultant. Abelow owns a stake in chef Josh Eden’s Shorty’s.32, a new American bistro, at 199 Prince Street. But he regards himself as a lawyer first: “My cases,” he says, “always come from interesting places.”

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