Barry Berkman
Divorce Law - New York, NY

The math is pretty simple: It takes two to make a marriage-- only one to destroy it. It takes four -- the husband, the wife and their lawyers - to reach a constructive resolution. It only takes only one to screw things up.

We meet our clients when they face perhaps the greatest identity crisis of their lives. They are at a crossroads, and often they can't see where the rest of their lives are headed. Everyone in divorce faces a sense of vulnerability and fear. They need to know that we are there for them. Often those feelings prompt aggression and lashing out. Unless we acknowledge and address it -- from the outset -- that aggressive behavior can dictate the way a case proceeds. Most of the time it is not necessary, but it happens.

Our challenge as attorneys is to find a way to work constructively with clients who are locked in conflict, so that we truly become part of the solution, and not, as unfortunately so often happens, part of the problem.

The fact is, lawyers will drift to court the way a compass needle drifts to north. For years there was no stopping it. The first sign of intransigence or unreasonableness on the part of the other lawyer was taken as an invitation to seek the intervention of the Courts. I saw firsthand early in my career the price that people paid when they pursued grind-it-out litigation. So now Collaborative Lawyers see these apparent impasses as a sign that a deeper dialogue is called for.

There was no question to me that the transactional costs of traditional litigation far outweighed the results - it was not simply the money, it was the emotional toll, the lasting bitterness and the trauma to the children. Because people are divorcing-- choosing to go their separate ways-- does not necessarily mean they have to be pitted against one another. In many ways they each have the same fears, concerns and problems - and, believe it or not - often, with appropriate professional assistance they find themselves fully capable of working together to resolve the problems and allay the fears.

Also you have to ask: How much of what a couple worked and strived for-- over say twenty years of marriage should be spent on lawyer's fees -- i.e. what part of the total assets they've accumulated over the years of marriage must it cost them in order to get on with their separate lives?

So naturally I was drawn to alternate dispute resolution and Collaborative Law. I felt immediately that the Collaborative process was a superior one for getting everyone through divorce. As a result-oriented lawyer -- and as someone responsible for my clients' best interests -- I preferred it from the word "Go."

The cornerstone of Collaborative Law is this: The parties and their lawyers sign a binding protocol wherein they commit to a process which seeks a resolution which is fair to both parties and which works for the entire family. Each lawyer represents and protects his or her own client, and at the same time brings a mediative presence into the room. If a negotiated agreement can't be reached and either of the parties decides to go to court then the lawyers must resign the case, and the spouses must find new representation. But that doesn't happen often -- I've participated in many Collaborative Law cases for more than 15 years now, and only a handful have not resulted in a successful and lasting agreement.

You have to wonder why would anyone choose to put their fate into the hands of a third-party stranger, i.e. a judge, when they have an opportunity of working out their differences with the help of skilled professionals, themselves?

Of course not all lawyers share my views on Collaborative. But more and more attorneys who practice divorce law today are offering it as a viable process option as a path to resolution in divorce. For the last 15 years I have been completely committed to promoting the virtue and value of Collaborative Law. I've spent a lot of time teaching and advocating the Collaborative Law process, and I'm proud to have been a part of its growth.

Barry Berkman
"I've participated in many Collaborative Law cases for more than 15 years now, and only a handful have not resulted in a successful and lasting agreement."
Phone: (212) 867-9123
Fax: (212) 983-8526
 
 
Education
Harvard College, B.A., 1962
Stanford University, J.D., 1965
 
2014-03-04 12:14:46