The divorce process is one of the most draining and difficult periods of a person's life - we've seen it over and over: very good people have to endure some terrible things. It's important for a lawyer to be focused on and sensitive to that.

Sometimes people come to us with unrealistic expectations and demands. The fact is, the court system is not there as a tool for retribution. While the outcome in a divorce case may reflect an even distribution of property, getting even will not be reflected in that outcome.

We make a lot of effort to see a case through properly, thoroughly and professionally. A good divorce lawyer, above all, is honest about what can and cannot be achieved. Whenever we can we discourage - litigation in a divorce proceeding, although we never rule it out. For one thing litigation is expensive. Moreover, when a dispute is heard by the court it is strangers who end up making life-changing decisions about you and your family.

Custody battles are the worst: They are the most damaging, the most expensive and, sadly, the ugliest. We try to advise our clients that they will get over this trauma, but their child may not!

There have been plenty of subtle and not-so-subtle changes to the way the law is administered - I remember when it was impossible to ask for a rescheduling of a court appearance if an attorney had a personal child-care obligation. It was unheard of, and women lawyers felt the brunt of it.

We are not psychologists, but I have good instincts working with people. I try to help people understand themselves, and understand the challenging situations they face in divorce.

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