I always share some basic points in my first meeting with clients and prospective clients. The first: There are no winners in divorce. Don't enter into it thinking of "trying to win" or getting even, or exacting some kind of revenge. The law and the court system simply aren't there to help you do that.

The second is litigation, which I'm always fully prepared to pursue, and I don't shy away from. But litigation should always be treated as a last resort.

Another, very important point is this: Stop taking guidance from everyone in your life. Stop listening to your next-door neighbor, or your college friend in California. Because what applies to someone else's personal situation will not apply to yours. And what is law in one state won't be law in another.

So I will spend a lot of time, in our first meeting, just listening. How can I help? What are the issues that made you come see me? I will explain Virginia law. I will try to get an idea of what issues are involved in your case. I will explain that I will be your advocate, through the entire process.

The next step is really about formulating realistic goals and I believe a good divorce lawyer can definitely affect the outcome of a case. In most cases, my objective is to help my client achieve a favorable outcome while minimizing the emotional and financial cost to everyone involved.

Some people in our profession have a need to scream and yell. I'm not one of them. I don't encourage litigation. It's not fun, and no one likes it. I find that most of my clients don't want that kind of fight, either. There are plenty of high-stress moments, emergencies that must be addressed right away. Bills must be paid, and accounts must be kept open. We're there to address the problems, and guide the process along.

The fact is that the majority of the court docket is criminal and domestic relations cases, and our judges have seen and heard it all. That's why a capable and sensitive attorney really can have a huge impact on the outcome - and on the way you look back, five or ten years from now.

From the start, both the attorney and client need to share a trust, a confidence, in one another. That is what ensures a good working relationship.

I'm proud of the fact that most of my cases settle. I work hard, and I'm sensitive to the unique nature of every case. That's why I love it. I know I am making a difference.