One thing that's surprised me over the years: There will always be a lawyer out there ready to tell a client what he or she wants to hear, as opposed to what he or she needs to hear. It's remarkable, really, because all that tends to do is encourage even greater misunderstanding and misconceptions about the divorce process.

One of the biggest misconceptions? Some believe the process will always "punish" someone for personal misdeeds in divorce. They believe that someone's bad behavior will have a significant bearing on matters of support, property division and even custody. People are often frustrated to find that's not how the process works. Divorce is not a zero-sum game.

I spend a lot of time listening to my clients, from the first conversation. In part, that simply allows them to express and vent every emotion - there's something healthy and cathartic about that for them. I play an important role as a sounding board for my clients. I should add, though, that I also refer many to another qualified professional who is better equipped than I am to help work them through their intense emotions.

It's fairly natural for a client to want to "get back" at a spouse - and the first urge may be to do that, and go down a long road of accusations and claims and counterclaims. But as I tell all my clients, the fact is you will be spending tens of thousands of dollars if you head down that road, and the result often does not justify the cost.

More than anything I want to help my clients understand what their realistic options are, and what they are likely to see at the resolution of their case. My job is to be as honest and up-front with them as possible.

In the face of all of the emotion of your case, my role is really to serve as your objective analyst and advocate. At the end of the day a divorce is largely a business decision and transaction. Often that can be hard for a client to appreciate. But the role of a good, experienced attorney is to help the client achieve a result that will serve the client's ultimate best interests.

Most clients ultimately recognize and appreciate the value of a knowledgeable and straightforward advisor. Our firm has a great team, probably the best in the area now. I certainly was drawn by both its people and its excellent reputation.

I feel very fortunate. My clients come to me with enormous challenges, and the role I play for them at that moment can make a big difference, for the rest of their lives. When I take time to reflect on that role, it makes me proud of what I do.