Elizabeth Pollina Donlon has been involved in some phase of estates and trusts practice for over 30 years. She's written about it, she's practiced it, and she is actively engaged in promoting neutral mediation as a means of resolving estate-related disputes.

A Queens, New York native, Donlon credits her grammar school teachers with the idea of becoming a lawyer - "more than one told me that I thought like a lawyer, that I was analytical, a problem-solver. Who tells that to a 12-year-old? It never occurred to me that I would become anything other than a lawyer." She was lucky enough to find employment after law school graduation, but only two months with a Manhattan divorce-law firm "made me want to quit the law business altogether." Instead, she joined a Long Island unit of a national publishing house as a legal editor, honing her researching and writing skills and, in the process, acquiring an expertise in a defined area of the law: Estate and gift taxation, and fiduciary responsibility. ("It was like going to graduate school but with a practical twist. I would read all the court cases and IRS rulings in the estate tax area and then write articles aimed at practitioners in the field. Initially, if the taxpayer won, I'd write: 'Do this.' And if the taxpayer lost, I'd write: 'Don't do that.' Eventually, I became very familiar with the estate and gift tax sections of the Internal Revenue Code and the then-recent decisions, and my articles became more informative. So, when the time came to put all that knowledge into practice, there was no question about what my area of concentration would be.")

It was only natural that when she decided to practice law again, her focus would be on estates and trusts law - dividing her time on estate planning, estate administration and all kinds of Surrogate's Court proceedings, including contested matters. One particular litigated matter, involving a surviving spouse's life estate in his late wife's share of their home, inspired her to write an article about the subject for the New York Bar Journal which led to invitations to speak before various professional groups on the topic.

Litigating over estates, however, is not something Donlon enjoys. "Let's put it this way: When family members are fighting in the Surrogate's Court, the argument is not always just about the assertion of one side's legal rights. Nor is it entirely about the money. It's often about age-old jealousies, resentments, and unresolved sibling rivalry. Although a lot of the legal issues and the parties' feelings are valid, litigation is not necessarily the way to go. With few exceptions, the cases are settled - but literally after years of litigation, significant expense, and more-often-than-not, on the eve of a trial. And what's accomplished: one side wins, and the other side loses." According to Donlon, instead of litigating in a will contest or a discovery proceeding, the parties and their counsel ought to be aware that there's another option, and should consider an alternative method of resolving an estate-related controversy - mediation with someone trained in the process and who has the demeanor and experience to facilitate an agreement that everyone can live with.