One of the first things I tell my clients is this: You don't have to move quickly. The decision to divorce is not one of those things you want to rush. Most of all, no one should feel any pressure to set a divorce in motion.

Another matter – not altogether unrelated – is to make sure you are comfortable with your lawyer. A good working relationship based on trust and communication is an important part of the process. Because it can be a long process – a year, even two years. You need all of that from the start.

The truth is that a lot of aspects of the process will not be familiar to you, and some of those may not seem fair either. From the first conversation I explain as much as possible, and I don't sugarcoat things. I'm pretty direct – that's really part of managing expectations. The fact is, I don't want my clients to be blindsided six months later.

I will say that, no matter how long the process, I do see many of my clients evolve – at the start they come in with a degree of fear and unease, and in time they become happier, stronger people, more independent people. That's a very rewarding thing to watch happen – to watch my clients come out better on the other side.

I've been back at Obermayer several years now, and one of the reasons I came back is that there are not simply good attorneys here, there are a lot of very good people. It's great for our clients, of course, but it's just a good place to work – we all all believe in our work. And we all feel we're helping people who really need the help – doing a good job for them, that's what matters.

The Covid pandemic really has upended things. People have experienced a lot of stress over the last few years, so not surprisingly we're seeing more mental health issues. I think part of it is that expectations can get skewed – people react more harshly to something they didn't expect. That's why communication – and managing expectations – are so important today.

The pandemic has spurred other changes as well. We are doing more in Zoom calls, more mediations and consults that are virtual.

But our practice is still largely litigation. That hasn't changed. One think I think has changed in recent years is that people are divorcing younger – 20 years ago you'd see older people, their children grown, who come to us. Increasingly they are younger couples – how much of that has to do with the pandemic, I couldn't say, but I definitely see more 10- and 15-year marriages ending than when I started.

I consider myself a “people person” - it's the people I meet and represent who make it all worthwhile to me. Sure, there's a daily routine that can be a grind – but my clients are what it's about. I love my job.